


What Evil Lurks

by mileskaane



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Genre: Desperation, Gen, Masturbation, Sex Toys, Vampires, horny vampires, set literally right before the movie starts lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mileskaane/pseuds/mileskaane
Summary: Viago indulges in some alone time that he is oh so desperate for.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	What Evil Lurks

**Author's Note:**

> viago is my emotional support vampire.
> 
> twitter: tofumuse  
> tumblr: mangostv

A whine rang out in the otherwise silent room, the only indication that someone was stirring within the house. He knew the sun must have come up by now, very thankful for the thick sun blocking curtains in his bedchamber. All of this was most unusual to Viago. After all, he was usually asleep in his coffin way before sunrise. And even more unusually, it was rare for him to indulge in the art of masturbation. 

He’d been feeling pent up, with what exactly he was unsure. Horniness, annoyance at his housemates and confusion at the ever changing outside world were all getting to him lately and when another big flaming argument with Deacon about the dishes had resulted in the latter telling him to “go fuck himself”...well. He’d decided that maybe he  _ would _ go fuck himself.

A gasp pierced the air as he slid a lubed finger into his hole. Fuck, it had been so long since he’d done this, even longer since it had been someone else. Vladislav liked to act as if he was some sort of virgin when he’d definitely had a fair bit of action in his time, just perhaps not as much as his other housemates. Whilst Vladislav had probably fucked triple (quadruple?) the amount of people Viago had, Viago made every time  _ worth _ it. He took precision and care to the extreme just when preparing a victim, with his lovers he was even more extreme, as was he with himself.

His head fell back and his mouth gaped as he inserted a second finger. Against his stomach, his hard cock jerked and leaked precum down his happy trail. It looked obscene, and in any other circumstance he’d be bashful. But with two fingers curling within him, all he could do was moan. It turned him on more knowing that he must look like a whore right now, one leg draped over his open coffin to give himself easy access to his hole. He was completely nude, greyish skin as cold as the draught coming in from under the door. 

And now for the main event. As he groaned with the stretch of wiggling in yet another finger, Viago reached with his other hand to his nightstand, where a significantly sized dildo stood proudly waiting for him. As a slight burn went through him with the stretch of three fingers in his hole, Viago took the dildo and stuck it in his open mouth, groaning around it as he coated it in saliva.

He liked to envision it being the real thing, having always had a bit of an oral fixation. Sucking cock was fun to Viago, as was eating pussy. The feeling of his mouth being full combined with the act of taking someone apart with just his mouth was incredibly arousing. But what he enjoyed more than a cock in his mouth was a cock in his  _ ass _ . 

With a loud popping noise, Viago pulled the spit slick dildo from his mouth, and his three fingers from himself, and positioned it at his hole. He thought to himself that he should probably have put a bit of lube on it but his fingers had been sufficiently lubed and a bit of a burning stretch kind of turned him on more. Closing his eyes, he slid the dildo in.

A wanton moan couldn’t be held back as the fake cock was fully sheathed within him. He felt unbelievably full, having to take a minute to adjust to this long forgotten sensation. His cock was impossibly hard, almost purple at the tip with desperation and shiny with the endless stream of precum that dribbled its way across Viago’s navel.

When he finally began to fuck himself, Viago couldn’t hold back. He missed the feeling of a hard and desperate fuck, something he’d only indulged in a few times in the sleazy secret gay clubs of the Victorian era, and a few more times for good measure in the bathroom stalls of gay nightclubs in the 80’s.

Being fucked so hard he could barely walk afterwards was intoxicating to Viago and he was using everything in his power to give himself a good fucking with this dildo. He screwed his eyes shut, not giving a face to whoever he was imagining fucking him but instead focusing on the rhythm, the sensations. The slapping sounds of the fake rubber balls hitting against his asscheeks made his face burn and his cock throb.

He was close and he hadn’t even touched his cock yet. It was everything that came with the animalistic sex he was imagining making him this needy. A whimper escaped him as he imagined dull teeth biting, nibbling, _ marking _ his skin. Not the feral biting of a vampire but the desperate and erotic claiming of a dirty fuck. Looking in the mirror the next day and seeing yourself covered in bruising. Of course, he couldn’t do that due to being a vampire but the imagery was enough.

His free hand, which had been holding on to the edge of the coffin for dear life, knuckles white with the force of it, slithered down his body and grabbed his aching cock. It made him hiss and cant his hips, having been neglected for far too long. He was clenching around the dildo as he stroked his cock frantically, hips moving of their own accord as he fucked himself down to meet the dildo halfway. Viago felt almost drunk with arousal.

Soft, quiet moans left his mouth in a steady stream as he neared completion, now unable to hold back. If anyone was awake, they were bound to hear him and the creaks of his coffin. Maybe he was even loud enough to wake people up. He didn’t care, he just needed to cum.

The dildo hit his prostate and he had a full body spasm. He’d forgotten just how good that felt. Over and over, he directed it at that spot, other hand still quickly jerking his cock and with one final hard thrust, he toppled over the edge.

There was no way Viago would ever be seeing heaven but this felt close enough. 

A cry rang out through the room followed by a muttered German expletive as he painted his tummy with cum. He almost curled in on himself as waves of pleasure wracked their way through his body. The dildo stayed pushed right up against that sweet spot for the whole orgasm, milking it for all it was worth as he shuddered his way through it.

Eventually, it wore down and his tired arms flopped down next to him. His wet cock slapped against his stomach and he flinched, then cringing as the dildo attempted to slide out by itself.

He felt completely boneless, wishing very briefly in that moment that he had a familiar just to clean him up. A moment later, he shook the thought away, realising that he’d be mortified if anyone but a lover were to see him like this. Reaching a shaky arm out of his coffin, he grabbed a very useful human invention for a time like this; baby wipes.

Viago cleaned himself off and chucked the used wipes into the wastebasket in the corner of his room, feeling very pleased with himself that the screwed up wipe didn’t miss the bin. At this point, he had to haul himself up and out of the coffin to unfortunately dress before he fell asleep. He hastily wiped the dildo down and shoved it in the bottom of a cupboard, hoping he remembered it needed a thorough cleaning later.

And now, he could finally get some sleep. He checked to make sure his alarm was set and his room looked presentable before nodding to himself and climbing into his coffin.

  
He needed his beauty sleep,  _ after all _ , a film crew would be here when he woke up. 


End file.
